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HOW TO GET OVER HURTS AND BITTERNESS

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HOW TO KEEP GRIEF FROM TURNING INTO BITTERNESS

bitternessBy Ken Blue

“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31-32.

“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,” Philippians 3:13.

The cruelty perpetrated on many is unimaginable and indefensible. The rejection, the abuse, and the damage inflicted, many times, leave the victims scared mentally, emotionally, and physically for life. We make no excuse for the guilty, and we extend love and compassion to those who are hurting and are wounded. If it were possible to undo the wickedness, we would be among the first to make it happen.

But, since it is impossible to undo what has happened to any of us; we have two options. We can spend the remainder of our lives in bitterness and self-pity, or we can allow God to heal us and teach us how to forgive and live again.

[perfectpullquote align=”right” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Counseling must come from one who can replace the bitterness and loneliness with forgiveness and the love of God[/perfectpullquote]

This world is full of women who have been abused and forsaken by wicked husbands. Millions of little boys and girls are violated daily. Unfaithful wives or husbands have broken the hearts of the innocent and left the little children in confusion and despair because of a divorce. Some of you may be the victims of a violent crime, or lost a loved one in a crime. There are no words to describe the pain, loneliness and bitterness felt when a son or daughter is lost in battle. The grief is real and truly must have time to heal.

Sometime counseling may be necessary to assist us through the hurts and bitterness we are dealing with. But, counseling must come from one who can replace the bitterness and loneliness with forgiveness and the love of God; if we are to experience lasting improvement and be set free by God’s grace.

Sad to say, many times the victim remains a victim the rest of his or her life, long after the guilty have paid for their crime; if they pay at all. Regardless, you must allow the healing cycle to proceed. In addition, you must seek family or friends who love you and can lead you toward real and lasting freedom.

[perfectpullquote align=”left” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]You must seek family or friends who love you and can lead you toward real and lasting freedom.[/perfectpullquote]

The more you get to know the love and the personal forgiveness of God, the more freedom you will experience. Remember, the ability to forget is one thing; the ability to forgive is quite another. For your own sake and the sake of others, if you are to get over the hurts and bitterness of life, you must move forward to the place where you can let God remove it.

I have not walked in your shoes or experienced your loss, but my heart goes out to you. One thing I have found that helps me with my hurts and bitterness is to replace the past with God’s Word and promises. In addition, praying for the ability to forgive others and asking God to remove the bitterness helps me to get over it; it will help you too.

DEALING WITH PROBLEM IN YOUR CHURCH

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HOW TO DEAL WITH PROBLEM PEOPLE

PROBLEM

By Ken Blue

Every man appointed to the ministry is called to help people with their problems. You will encounter some people who cannot, or will not, accept any help from you. If the pastor takes note of the problems, he will find that all complaints are in a few categories. These will be about your leadership style, church policies and procedures, the budget, the doctrines you teach and your family. The good news is; most of the people in your church will never be a problem to you. In fact, they will be a blessing. So don’t spend all your time and attention on a few ornery souls.

The pastor must pray before acting or reacting to problems. In some cases it is wise to seek counsel from others. Some problems heal themselves; others are like a cancer and must be cut out. You need wisdom to know the difference. A wrong response can cause more trouble than the problem itself.

Most problems come from those closest to you. Some will come from a staff member or his unhappy wife. The church secretary or treasure can cause you grief. Deacons and their wives can be a problem. Also, an older pastor or missionary, who failed in the ministry, may be jealous and cause you misery.

The key to keeping discontent at a minimum with staff is to love them and spend time with them. See that their monetary needs are met, and acknowledge their children and their parents. Keep the channels of communication open by listening to their needs and concerns. You are their pastor also. It is best to hire people from within your church if possible.

The pastor must not be a bully or a lord over God’s people. He is their servant and must be of a humble spirit. But, humility does not mean weakness. There will be people who will challenge you and seek to intimidate you. Don’t show fear or weakness. They will not respect you. Rather, it will embolden the adversaries. You are the leader and must know where you want the church to go and how to get it there. When under attack, kindly, but firmly let the person know that God has put you as the leader of the church, and you believe your decision is His will. If he or she is not willing to follow your leadership, they need to seek a church where they will be happy.

[perfectpullquote align=”right” cite=”” link=”” color=”” class=”” size=””]Some people will attack your policies, procedures, and doctrines. If he or she is not willing to follow your leadership, they need to seek a church where they will be happy.[/perfectpullquote]

Some people will attack your policies, procedures, and doctrines. One solution to this is a new member’s class for all prospective members. These matters are covered in detail in that class. Have each new member sign the covenant before they join.

Not all complaints are from problem people. There are legitimate concerns and needs that must be addressed. It is your job to see that those needs are met. Be quick to help people with their ministry needs.

There will be some who will want to start private Bible studies in their home without your knowledge or consent. Meet with the leader and let him or her know all such meeting must be structured and monitored by the church leadership. One way to curb this is to start small group meetings in different homes. These can be supervised by a staff member and the materials can be provided by the church.

In time, entrepreneurial people will come to your church seeking new prospects. These will range from insurance salesmen to the Tupperware gang. I have no problem with any of these vocations, but those who merchandise church members must be confronted, and their fleecing of the sheep must be brought to a stop.

Many problem people have frustrated ambition. They want to be something or do something, and you are standing in their way. If you can find the problem and help, good; if not, ship them. Others are envious and want more attention. Also, watch people who cry easily. These people usually have anger issues and are explosive.

Someone has said small frogs look big in small ponds. Rather than killing the frogs, make the pond bigger. This is done by building your church attendance and membership. Seek young families and build with them.

Remember, not even the Lord Jesus could resolve all problems or satisfy all people. So, when dealing with any issue, begin with prayer for wisdom, seek counsel, and then move forward with your best judgment. That is the best you can do. Some will comply, others will leave. That is the way it is. You will learn along the way.

An important note: Stay positive in the pulpit and when talking with others. Magnify the blessings and goodness of God and minimize the negative. This will encourage your people and keep the trouble makers off balance.

ARE THERE PROMISES IN THE JEWISH SCRIPTURES FOR YOU?

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By Ken Blue

Much of the objection to dispensationalism and right division comes from a wrong assumption that there are no promises or blessings in other dispensations for believers in this dispensation of grace. Nothing could be further from the truth. The important issue is that we are able to identify those promises and discern if there is an application for us. In this article, I will point out just a few of the many promises found in other dispensations.

1. “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.” Isaiah 26:3. The context shows that Israel is the subject. But, the promise applies to all people in all times.

2. “And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.” Genesis 12:3. This promise is to all nations and individuals who love and help Israel. We are blessed by having the Scriptures and the savior who came through Abraham. The final payoff may be after the resurrection, but the promise is yours.

3. “1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. 3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.” Psalms 1:1-3. This wonderful promise is for every believer who will take heed and obey it.

4. “Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.” Psalms 27:14. What can we say about this wonderful promise? It is for all who will wait in prayer and faith.

5. “3 Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee. 4 Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name. 5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips: 6 When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches.” Psalms 63:3-6. AMEN!

6. “3 Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; 4 If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures; 5 Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God.” Proverbs 2:3-5. God is the give of wisdom. The promise is to all show seek Him.

7. “Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.” Isaiah 55:7. God’s mercy is not limited. This promise is for all.

8. “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.” Proverbs 9:10. This promise is to all people everywhere.

9. “He that hath a bountiful eye shall be blessed; for he giveth of his bread to the poor.” Proverbs 22:9. God promises to bless the compassionate person.

10. “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Proverbs 15:1. Here is a promise that applies to all people of all dispensations. Try it, you’ll see that it works.

Never fear losing promises or blessings by rightly dividing the Word of God. In fact, that is the only way to be safe and honest. Don’t steal that which belongs to another. You don’t need to, there is plenty for you.

HANDLING THE BIBLE DECEITFULLY #3

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When “all” and “every” doesn’t mean “all” and “every.”

By Ken Blue

The American Heritage Dictionary says a hyperbole is, “A figure of speech in which exaggeration is used for emphasis or effect, as in I could sleep for a year or This book weighs a ton.” All languages use the hyperbole, and the Bible is no exception to its use. It will save the believer from error if he will consider this truth when reading the Word. In most cases, the context will reveal its use.

1. “And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.” Matthew 10:22. It is evident that the disciples were not hated by every man nor will every person hate the Jew in the Tribulation. “All” is used to amplify the extent of the haltered they must expect.

2. “But if we shall say, Of men; we fear the people; for all hold John as a prophet.” Matthew 21:26. Obviously, not all the people believed John, or the nation would have repented. However, the number was so great that the priest and elders feared to give a correct answer.

3 “And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.” Luke 2:1. The world here was the Roman Empire.

4. “And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me.” John 12:32. This is all me without distinction, not all men without exception.

5. “For every one shall be salted with fire, and every sacrifice shall be salted with salt.” Mark 9:49. The context shows that this is speaking of the lost and that it is a figure of speech to illustrate the seriousness of eternal judgment on the unsaved.

6. “And daily in the temple, and in every house, they ceased not to teach and preach Jesus Christ.” Acts 5:42. We need not assume that every house in Jerusalem was open to them. The idea is that many homes were open, and in them they continued to preach and teach.

7. “As for Saul, he made havock of the church, entering into every house, and haling men and women committed them to prison.” Acts 8:3. The purpose of the writer was to show how extensive the persecution of Saul was. Had he entered into every house, every believer would have been imprisoned or killed.

8. “Therefore they that were scattered abroad went every where preaching the word.” Acts 8:4. This is not teaching that they went every where in the whole world, but every where they went, they preached the gospel.

9. “And when they had found him, they said unto him, All men seek for thee.” Mark 1:37. Here is another example of the hyperbole to show the popularity of Jesus at that time and place.

10. “Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen.” Revelation 1:7. Not every eye on the planet will see Jesus at the Second Advent. Again, this is to emphasize his coming to Israel. “All eyes in the immediate vicinity of Jerusalem where He lands (Zech. 14:1-5). People in distant parts of the earth will not see Him until later (Isa. 2:2-4; 66:19-21; Zech. 8:23).” —Dake’s Study Notes.

TWO STICKS THAT BECOME ONE

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ONE ISRAEL

By Ken Blue

“And join them one to another into one stick; and they shall become one in thine hand.” Ezekiel 37:17.

In 945 B. C. the nation of Israel was divided into two nations with ten tribes in the North, called Israel, and two tribes in the South, called Judah. Jerusalem was the capital of Judah, and Samaria became the capital of Israel. They were divided in the days of Rehoboam and Jeroboam. (See 1 Kings 12).

The symbolism is clear from Scripture. The time is coming soon when all Israel will be reunited as one nation, in their land, under one King; the Lord Jesus Christ. Isaiah 11:10-16, is just one of the many prophecies of Israel’s return and reuniting as one nation, “And in that day there shall be a root of Jesse, which shall stand for an ensign of the people; to it shall the Gentiles seek: and his rest shall be glorious. 11 And it shall come to pass in that day, that the Lord shall set his hand again the second time to recover the remnant of his people, which shall be left, from Assyria, and from Egypt, and from Pathros, and from Cush, and from Elam, and from Shinar, and from Hamath, and from the islands of the sea. 12 And he shall set up an ensign for the nations, and shall assemble the outcasts of Israel, and gather together the dispersed of Judah from the four corners of the earth. 13 The envy also of Ephraim shall depart, and the adversaries of Judah shall be cut off: Ephraim shall not envy Judah, and Judah shall not vex Ephraim. 14 But they shall fly upon the shoulders of the Philistines toward the west; they shall spoil them of the east together: they shall lay their hand upon Edom and Moab; and the children of Ammon shall obey them. 15 And the LORD shall utterly destroy the tongue of the Egyptian sea; and with his mighty wind shall he shake his hand over the river, and shall smite it in the seven streams, and make men go over dryshod. 16 And there shall be an highway for the remnant of his people, which shall be left, from Assyria; like as it was to Israel in the day that he came up out of the land of Egypt.” Isaiah 11:10-16

This is the intended message by the prophet when he took the two sticks and held them together. Its intent is to encourage the nation to not abandon their God or Scriptures. Both are true and faithful; and this symbol will become a reality. Thank God for our infallible Bible!