HOW TO KEEP GRIEF FROM TURNING INTO BITTERNESS

By Ken Blue

“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: 32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31-32.

“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,” Philippians 3:13.

The cruelty perpetrated on many is unimaginable and indefensible. The rejection, the abuse, and the damage inflicted, many times, leave the victims scared mentally, emotionally, and physically for life. We make no excuse for the guilty, and we extend love and compassion to those who are hurting and are wounded. If it were possible to undo the wickedness, we would be among the first to make it happen.

But, since it is impossible to undo what has happened to any of us; we have two options. We can spend the remainder of our lives in bitterness and self-pity, or we can allow God to heal us and teach us how to forgive and live again.

This world is full of women who have been abused and forsaken by wicked husbands. Millions of little boys and girls are violated daily. Unfaithful wives or husbands have broken the hearts of the innocent and left the little children in confusion and despair because of a divorce. Some of you may be the victims of a violent crime, or lost a loved one in a crime. There are no words to describe the pain, loneliness and bitterness felt when a son or daughter is lost in battle. The grief is real and truly must have time to heal.

Sometime counseling may be necessary to assist us through the hurts and bitterness we are dealing with. But, counseling must come from one who can replace the bitterness and loneliness with forgiveness and the love of God; if we are to experience lasting improvement and be set free by God’s grace.

Sad to say, many times the victim remains a victim the rest of his or her life, long after the guilty have paid for their crime; if they pay at all. Regardless, you must allow the healing cycle to proceed. In addition, you must seek family or friends who love you and can lead you toward real and lasting freedom.

The more you get to know the love and the personal forgiveness of God, the more freedom you will experience. Remember, the ability to forget is one thing; the ability to forgive is quite another. For your own sake and the sake of others, if you are to get over the hurts and bitterness of life, you must move forward to the place where you can let God remove it.

I have not walked in your shoes or experienced your loss, but my heart goes out to you. One thing I have found that helps me with my hurts and bitterness is to replace the past with God’s Word and promises. In addition, praying for the ability to forgive others and asking God to remove the bitterness helps me to get over it; it will help you too.

Ken Blue

Pastor Ken Blue was born in Boswell, Ark. In 1955 he accepted Christ as his Savior. He and his wife Joyce were married in 1955. They have 5 children. He graduated from Midwestern Baptist Bible College in 1969 and started the Open Door Baptist Church in Lynnwood, Wa. where he pastored for 39 years. Because of health issues (ALS) he was forced to resign as pastor. It is his desire to continue to be used of God to help pastors and believers through this ministry.