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THINGS YOU WON’T FIND IN OUR CHURCH

May 2, 2015 by Ken Blue 4 Comments

THINGS YOU WON’T FIND IN OUR CHURCH

Spoof on Standards
you won't find

By Ken Blue

 

 

You won’t find a screen with a bouncing ball
Our nose is in the hymnal like the Apostle Paul.
You won’t find drums or a base guitar
Or a piano — like those in honky-tonk bars.

We shun the organ; Luther called it, “The ensign of Baal”
We don’t use sound systems, we scream and yell.
Women don’t wear pants nor do they speak
We like them inferior, feeble and meek.

Power Point and Laptops are taboo and banned
We reject background music it’s carnally canned.
We don’t have air-conditioning or a patted pew
Our people love Jesus and sweat it through.

We don’t use gimmicks to reach God’s elect
Their predestined already, so what the heck.
We don’t serve coffee to the privileged guest
We’re after the chosen and ignore the rest.

We don’t preach sermons on liberty and grace
A good dose of guilt keeps people in place.
Our only ambition is to grow and thrive
All sermons are on soul winning and giving the tithe.

We don’t have television or Bibles on CD
We maintain the standards of A.D. 103.
We don’t have Internet; we reject this modern age
But we hope you do and will access our church’s web page.

Ken Blue

Pastor Ken Blue was born in Boswell, Ark. In 1955 he accepted Christ as his Savior. He and his wife Joyce were married in 1955. They have 5 children. He graduated from Midwestern Baptist Bible College in 1969 and started the Open Door Baptist Church in Lynnwood, Wa. where he pastored for 39 years. Because of health issues (ALS) he was forced to resign as pastor. It is his desire to continue to be used of God to help pastors and believers through this ministry.

Filed Under: Poems Tagged With: biblical standards

About Ken Blue

Pastor Ken Blue was born in Boswell, Ark. In 1955 he accepted Christ as his Savior. He and his wife Joyce were married in 1955. They have 5 children. He graduated from Midwestern Baptist Bible College in 1969 and started the Open Door Baptist Church in Lynnwood, Wa. where he pastored for 39 years. Because of health issues (ALS) he was forced to resign as pastor. It is his desire to continue to be used of God to help pastors and believers through this ministry.

Comments

  1. Barb and Sal says

    April 29, 2009 at 10:44 am

    Ha thats good- I am hearing from some of our (40s+) kids from private school life sounding a little sour over their (60s+) parents who ‘Out of total LOVE’ seperated them from some of these “modern” things of the world-I do ask forgiveness 🙂 and pray for their parenthood skills, and yes I must press on, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our Faith.
    God’s still working on me-Praise the Lord.
    There’s only one perfect parent-> Perfect Father = God

  2. Stephanie Deyo says

    June 10, 2011 at 10:15 am

    wow!! that’s good.

  3. Tina says

    May 22, 2015 at 1:39 pm

    We women soul win, study, teach, wear pants, skirts and dresses, use technology, are not quiet, correct false teaching, and LOVE our Lord Jesus Christ!! Amen.

    Have a wonderful day.

    P.S.

    We drink coffee and tea too!

  4. Ken Blue says

    May 23, 2015 at 1:13 pm

    SOUNDS LIKE THE RIGHT KIND OF CHURCH.

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